Our Birth Plan

I thought I would post a copy of my birth plan for anyone who would like to see what one looks like. When I had Gabriella, three years ago, I copied a birth plan from a website. Now that I have studied, researched and know better, I have recompiled my list of wishes for our baby girl, who is due in early February.

Our plan would be to deliver at Alta Bates Medical Center, with a midwife, 100% natural and avoid interventions all together.  I will have my birth plan with me, my labor supporters who attend the birth will know what my desires are and together, we can all ensure  the birth of our daughter is nothing less than magical.

Our Birth Plan

Parents: Jessica & Daniel 

Due Date: February 2013

Physician/ Midwife: Jeri Zukoski, CNM and Lindy Johnson, CNM

Baby: Ireland Rose (Girl)


We desire a labor and delivery that is free from any unnecessary medical intervention, 100% natural. We strongly prefer a soft/calm vaginal delivery and are avoiding a Cesarean Section, at all costs. Please discuss any suggested interventions or procedures with all of us, in full detail and obtain our verbal/written consent before initiating any such interventions or procedures. We want to know the full scope of risks prior to consent.


  • I request a private room with a hydrotherapy bath tub, if available.
  • Ideally, I prefer my environment to have dimmed lights, soft music and voices respectfully lowered
  • FHR monitored by intermittent monitoring only, no internal monitors placed on baby’s head!
  • Vaginal exams when medically necessary, not every hour, please
  • NO PITOCIN at all! This is a natural birth. I would like to use natural methods to keep labor progressing.
  • NO EPIDURAL!! We desire a 100% natural birth and will use natural methods for pain management.
  • I would prefer to labor in the birthing tub for as long as possible, as much as possible.
  • I would like the freedom to move/walk around during labor along with the use of birthing balls & stools.
  • If the midwife feels that pushing may not be progressing efficiently, I would like to change positions.
  • I would like to try different positions to ease labor discomfort, to be conducive for a natural delivery
  • I request the freedom to eat and drink during labor as needed, if tolerated
  • I prefer no IV at all.  
  • Please avoid use of urinary catheter
  • Prolonged length of second stage if progress is being made, let my body progress on its own timeline
  • I would like to use nipple stimulation, reflexology, pumping and walking to keep labor progressing
  • Would like to labor down, on my own until natural urge to push is felt
  • I would prefer to tear than to have an episiotomy–if out of bath, Please use massage oil to guide the birth of baby’s head and body
  • I would like a mirror available so I can see my daughter’s head when it crowns, if delivering out of birthing tub.
  • Even if I am fully dilated, and assuming my baby is not in distress, I would like to try to wait until I feel the urge to push before beginning the pushing phase.
  • My Husband (Dan), and family are to be present at all times

After Birth

  • Dad would like to have the opportunity to catch baby in delivery, if baby is delivering well and it is medically safe. If Dad does not want to or unable, I would like to pull our baby out; put her on my chest.
  • Skin to skin contact to be immediately established for the first hour. Weight, measurements may occur after the 1st hour. I am breastfeeding & would like baby to crawl to breast, on her own.
  • DELAYED CORD CLAMPING Do not cut cord right away! Please offer cord cutting to Father, once cord is finishing pulsing (45+ min after birth).
  • Natural delivery of placenta: PLEASE DO NOT DISCARD PLACENTA, we plan to take it home for encapsulation
  • Please provide me with nutritious food and drink as soon as possible, following birth.
  • Baby to breastfeed immediately, would like help from nurses on positioning, latch.
  • NO FORMULA or Water! I would like to breastfeed and have every feeding be at my breasts, only.  
  • No post-delivery Pitocin or pulling on the cord
  • If stitching of perineum is necessary, please use local anesthetic
  • Newborn to stay with parents at all times. “Rooming in”
  • Please perform all physical exams on baby and procedures in the  room with mother present
  • If my baby must be taken from me to receive medical treatment, my husband or some other person I designate will accompany her at all times.
  • I would like to postpone any immunizations until a later time. I do not want baby to receive any Vitamin K shots, Heb B shot or any other vaccinations post birth.  No antibiotics in the baby’s eyes, as well.
  • We plan to deliver a baby girl however in the event we have a boy, we will NOT be circumcising. 


“There is a secret in our culture, and its not that birth is painful, it is that woman are strong.”- Laura Stavoe Harm 

Your Husband is an Asshole

I once was an admin on another ‘mommy page’ on facebook. The topic of ‘sex after baby’ came up. As sex was a frequent topic of discussion on this page.

So I asked the question:

How long after birth did you wait until you and your husband were intimate again?

I honestly could not believe my eyes at the responses I was reading. Some Mothers said five weeks. A few mentioned months. Which I understand because when you have an episiotomy, can bearly sit for weeks, you are squirting warm water on yourself after every time you go pee… yeah I don’t blame the ones who waited months. I am right there with ya!  Then you add leaky breasts, trying to figure out breastfeeding, you are engorged, sleep deprived, feeling like a zombie, navigating guests and everyone wanting to see/hold the baby, remembering to eat and getting the swing of this Mommy thing. Yes, for most of us, sex is the last thing on our mind. After I had Ella, if someone would have said the word “sex” to me, I would have thought they were referring to the gender of my child, not the act that created this child.

One Mother on this Facebook Page hit a cord with me. She mentioned how she gave in to having sex the night after her c section surgery, in the hospital bed, because her husband couldn’t and did not want to wait. They continued to have sex, post surgery and she wound up pregnant again by her six week postpartum check up. Why does this bother me so much? It is not that she got pregnant right away; it is that her partner, the one who is to support her and nuture through her recovery is more concerned with his sexual needs than the medical needs and recovery of his wife. You just had your gut cut open, your uterus ripped open by a pair of clamps, your baby removed, your whole abdomen suctioned out. Not to mention,  you are stitched up in every layer of muscle and skin. And a few hours after going through this surgery, your husband wants to have sex? How can he even request such a thing? Your husband is an asshole.

Granted, I have never had a C Section and hope to never endure such surgery. I do not have an idea how it feels post C Section surgery. I have taken care of many woman who have had one. Based on what I have seen working in postpartum care, I can tell you that sex and the motion of the body moving is not only dangerous in recovery but seems to be incredibly painful. You can get bacteria infections, a UTI, vaginal damage and more.. Like an unplanned Pregnancy! Getting pregnant so soon after a C Section is very hard on the body and has high chances of miscarriage, since the uterus is still healing. I have seen first hand Mothers recover from C Sections and they are in so much pain, they are hunching over to walk and unable to move without experiencing pain, for weeks. C Sections are not glamorous. It is surgery, after all.

In knowing and understanding the female anatomy like I do, I completely understand the importance of waiting those six weeks (or longer)  and why a midwife or doctor would be so strong to recommend to wait for the body to fully heal. Your body goes through so much in pregnancy, then morphs into a machine in labor and delivery. It needs time to fully recover from all the changes that took place in the last nine months.

There are so many other ways to bond and be close with your partner than just having sex, while you are in the healing stage. Our partners need to understand how delicate we are after birth. There are so many emotions and hormones going on during this time. We need to be held, shown affection, told we are doing a good job, encouraged to keep breastfeeding, given uplifting words of praise, cooked for, fed, hydrated and helped. “I’ll hold the baby honey, you take a nice long shower”. As we heal in the postpartum period, new mothers cannot be expected to give in to our husbands sexual desires. It is just unfair. Its medically dangerous to be intimate too soon after delivery. It can wait. Any partner that cares for you and puts your needs, the needs of the baby, before his own, will understand that.

“No sex before the six”